Workshop helps ease loneliness

Regina Leader Post
Pamela Cowen

Christmas can be the loneliest time of the year.

"People can be lonely because of any kind of loss -- it might be death, it might be divorce, it might be loss of a job," said Pastor Ernie Metz of the Regina Apostolic Church. "Families can be fractured. Parents may be upset because their adult children don't come home or there's control (issues) and they have a big fight and they don't get together."

Feelings of isolation often intensify during the holiday season.

"Some people are dreading that Christmas is coming because they won't be with family and having the good time that they hear their colleagues will be having," Metz said.

To help Reginans find hope and healing during the Christmas season, he's holding a Loneliness and Loss of Relationship workshop on Dec. 22 beginning at 7 p.m. There is no charge to attend the workshop, which will be held at the Regina Apostolic Church, 808 Assiniboine Ave. E. To register or to get more information, call Metz at 789-1234 or 536-0497.

During the two-hour interactive workshop, he'll focus on grieving in a healthy way, restoring broken relationships and letting go of unrealistic expectations.

"We live in a society where we feel we must be strong," he said in an interview on Saturday. "Even at funerals, I've heard a minister say to family members 'You're being so strong.' Quite often I say to people mourning at a funeral, 'This is not a day to be strong. This is a day to let yourself grieve your loss.' "

Metz observed that men are often reluctant to show their grief yet they feel loneliness as deeply as women.

"A guy seems to think that he's got to be tough, that he's got to be macho and he doesn't let himself grieve," Metz said. "People don't let themselves feel the pain of loss, but talking about our loss is really therapeutic. If people have suffered a loss, I always set the stage for them to talk. If they don't want to talk, they have the freedom not to talk."

He said others believe they're worthless because that's what they've been told.

"A mom might say to a little girl, 'You're so stupid.' And that girl grows up believing she's stupid. She's not stupid! She's a wonderful gift to others. So I talk a little bit about the lies we believe in and of course it's reinforced at Christmas if certain family members aren't getting together with you."

To conquer loneliness, he suggests volunteering at seasonal events hosted by organizations such as the Salvation Army or the Souls Harbour Rescue Mission.