Committed or Checked Out?

So, I was driving to the mission this morning, when the word hit me. The "C" word. That's what we were talking about yesterday. In a nutshell. Committment. From the biggies of marriage and employer, to the smallies of "I'll come and help you clean out your garage," people aren't showing up. They are checking out.

It's more than loyalty. It's being faithful. God, Himself, is Faithful, and so we must strive to emulate Him in all ways.

The Bible has a lot to say about faithfulness. You would be wise to do a word search some time. It was a real blessing to me this morning.

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. -Luke 16:10

Yes or No

This is what God commands: When a man makes a vow to God or binds himself by an oath to do something, he must not break his word; he must do exactly what he has said. -Numbers 30:2

One thing I am observing is that people make promises they don't keep. They say, "Yes," and nothing materializes.

I learned this in my reading on leadership, actually. Don't say "yes" unless you mean it.

Results of breaking a promise? Disappointment. Loss of trust. Heartache.

And often a lot more scrambling and work for the person that was counting on you. Even things that seem small can have an impact on the relationship or circumstances. I dare say MOST times it does, but you will not find out about it. You will not be told, and you probably wouldn't remember saying it, even if you were told!

Just say yes or no. Just say what is true. That way, your language can't be used against you. -James 5:12

Walking a Tightrope

"Balancing a job and family is not the hardest thing to achieve, it's second. (Right after world peace!)"
-Barbara Dale

When we realize the enormity of the expectations we and others put on ourselves, we can be a bit forgiving of ourselves.

Well, I ripped off yesterday's calandar page to use as scrap paper this morning and the message is right along what I've been meditating about these days. And years, really.

Maybe meditating is the wrong word. More like: "Random thoughts while running around like a chicken with my head cut off."

Some time ago I clipped an article (I'll never find it even if I try looking) on the myth of achieving balance in life. What resonated with me is the reality that this push to be "super-person" -- parent, spouse, employee, hobby, church, ministry, friend, etc is completely unattainable. I have no clue how people do it without losing their minds. I almost lost mine yesterday but thankfully it showed up this morning at 7-11 on my way to the Mission.

Kudos to super-mom who works full time. I couldn't do it.

I guess this is a plea to simplicity. Does your child have to be in all the extra-curricular activities? Do you suppose that your main call might be to raising your children to live pure and Godly lives? There is no higher purpose.

I love the families that serve together. The ones that come and help Aaron serve the supper at the Soup Kitchen. Or the ones that come to spend an evening here, making Family Night at the Mission special.

You don't have to say "no" to as many things when you serve and play as a family. Turn off the TV. Do something together that will make a difference for eternity. Show them our obligation to the poor. Cook a meal together for your friend who is sick, and deliver it as a family while you stay and visit for 20 minutes. Find a pen pal family in another country and start emailing. (I can help you with this if you need help!) Do chores together even though it takes twice as long!

We have one special family that makes Christmas Stockings for us each year, instead of buying gifts for one another. Another family goes Boxing Day Shopping for us instead of spending money on each other.

And say "no" when it doesn't fulfill the call to your mission. That is, your family. If you can't do it together, you are missing opportunities.

My brother and sister in law had their daughter graduate this spring. Now they are making their life decisions based on how they can best serve the Lord as a twosome. Empty nest syndrome aside, they have shifted their priorities and recongized their call has changed. I think Rhonda would say the time went quickly and it was worth every moment of part time work (vs. full time) to invest in being a mom and avoid daycare.

And what a wonderful reward that her daughter has chosen a better way. She is committing her next year to full time missionary service. And her Mom is her best friend.

For more information on the topic of overload, see Richard Swenson's site. His books literally changed my life.

Bye, Bye, Bertha Blender

One of our donors passed away. I always loved receiving gifts from Bertha Blender. I loved her name! She was my favourite name of all our 10,000 donors! It always brought a smile and a conversation to Vicki and I as we opened her mail. We thought that must have been her married name and then, finally, we found out that indeed, she was a "Mrs." The message to our office was that she had no remaining family to mourn her loss. Vicki and I will miss her.

Myrna's Musings

Here's another anecdote from Myrna!

Michelle
Hope your day is great.
Did I tell you
that when you & Ken
were away on a little
holiday; I watched
a tv movie:
Earnest Goes to Jail.
I love reading the credits. One went
like this:
SPECIAL EFFECTS
CO-ORDINATOR
MICHELLE PORTER
(same spelling)
Funny how people get
the same names.
MHO.

Amusing Anecdotes from Myrna

Myrna, our daily late afternoon 65 year old Volunteer Receptionist, loves to leave little notes in our boxes. She'll use any bit of scrap paper she can find to jot down her thoughts. Here's one I found in Ken's box. Is it just me? Or is this hilarious?

Ken
Did you see on the news last
night (TV5) a little 5lb
dog jumped in between a 1 and 1/2 year old
baby & a snake just as
he went to bite the baby. The little dog
got bit. Grandpa killed
the snake & took the little dog to a vet.
He survived & the
whole family, baby &
all are happy. Ha!
Myrna

Memo to Staff: WORK BOUNDARIES

Memo time again so soon, you ask? Well, when the mood strikes…
Re: Boundaries at Work

“And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.” -Mark 1:35

From this verse we can learn two things. One, the obvious, to follow in the example of Jesus, that we should make time alone with God in morning devotions.

But, perhaps not so obvious, this passage actually refers to a time during Jesus’ life where he was in full-time ministry, and he was actively working. And so, amidst the chaos of training the disciples, and all the other things that come along with his ministry on the earth—healing, preaching, feeding the hungry—he went away to get some work done by himself.

I have noticed a trend amongst staff that makes it difficult to put yourself on “Do Not Disturb. (DND)

Pitfalls of this practise include:
· Not giving full and proper attention to a counsellee.
· Having interruptions causing them to lose their train of thought
· Appearance of lack of confidentiality.
· Not getting your own work done.
· Not being able to focus on a task.
· Increased margin of error.
· Task takes too long.

Some examples when you should put yourself on DND:
· Reading a long document
· Studying for class prep
· Opening mail
· Receipting
· Working steadily on a project for a specific time
· Meetings
· Counselling sessions
· Any time you have an impending deadline

Complaints about too little time to get tasks accomplished, not enough training, or when your supervisor notes you are not able to keep up on the basics of the job are all results of feeling guilty over putting yourself on DND.

Remember the adage, “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

Please make proper time in your days for your ENTIRE job. Be thorough. If something needs to go all the way downstairs, don’t cheat and put it in the pantry freezer “for now.” Be careful in your tasks. Engage and focus on the task at hand. Don’t do others’ jobs/responsibilities for them. And feel free to make appointments when residents approach you on the fly. Use your daytimer.

We want to exercise love and care and shepherding of our people, but we cannot properly lead them when we are flustered and disorganized. This kind of chaos is fairly easily rectified if we take the time we need away from others, and just focus on the single task at hand.

Michelle Porter, CAO

Memo to Staff: PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

It is very important for missionaries to establish boundaries in their lives, particularly in the area of self-care.

How can you know if you are not honouring your boundaries?

If you find yourself…

· unable to take groceries home because of a guilt-complex
· tired and lagging at your duties
· tempted to steal because “you deserve it” or “you’ll pay it back”
· continually wishing you were on vacation
· short-tempered or easily angered
· staying up late
· not having daily devotions
· burning your candle on both ends
· having too many dresser drawers open (dresser tips over!)
· thinking you are working harder than everyone else
· watching too much tv
· without time to floss your teeth
· skipping your bath
· double booking yourself both personally and professionally
· not spending time with your spouse or children
· not having time for your closest friends
· not making time to keeping touch with family
· not having alone time
· wanting to skip Bible study for “alone time”
· having piles of laundry and dishes to catch up on
· always “running to catch up”

…you may be at risk of mismanaging your personal life.

While God is pleased when our ministry produces fruit, He does not want it at the expense of the other things He has brought into your life, such as your kids, or your spouse.

Those unencumbered by relationships are more free to pursue ministry, but not at the expense of their spirit.

For all of us missionaries, it is important to eat well, to keep our surroundings tidy and clean, have daily devotions and quality family times. Just the basics of life! After that, “I would gladly spend and be spent for Christ.”

Michelle Porter
Chief Administrative Officer

Homeless Family

I was working late one night this week so I answered the phone. It was Lawrence, a single dad with three little girls.

"My girls and I need a place to stay."

"Why are you homeless?" I asked.

"I rented a place, and one day we came home to find the door barred shut with a sign,"Condemned". There was no warning, nothing. Social services put us up for two nights at a hotel, but tonight is our last night and I haven't been able to find a place yet."

The next morning, Lawrence and his three beautiful daughters showed up at the front door. My heart melted for them. We skipped the tour and brought them right up to their room. It was obvious they needed baths, something in their tummies, and a good night's sleep.

The girls were polite, shy, and well mannered. Spying a box of crab apples, one of them braved, "Can I have an apple?!" Their dad was a mild mannered, well-spoken man whose goal was to protect his girls.

This is the first time I have personally dealt with a homeless single dad with three daughters. My heart was particularly wrenched and warmed at the same time. I can't imagine what it would have been like if my dad, who raised my three youngest siblings on his own, came home one night to find he had no home.

Yesterday, Lawrence was able to secure an apartment in the neighbourhood. We wish them well.

Volunteer Drive

5 Receptionists (2 or 3 hour shift)
3 Womens Home Evening Supervisors (5 hour shift)
4 Womens Home Weekend Supervisors (8 hour shift)
2 Mens Home Evening Supervisors (5 hour shift)
4 Mens Home Weekend Supervisors (8 hour shift)
2 Shelter Evening Supervisors (5 hour shift)
1 or 2 Clothing Store Managers
8 Clothing Store Clerks
8 Clothing Store Sorters
7 Lunch-makers for Campus Residents (50 meals max)
(These can be made in the comfort of your own home.)

Happy Birthday to Me!

I think I am the age of a first class US stamp today! I'm having three of my closest friends (around my age) over for dinner tonight. I have surprises for them! Should be fun! Hope my birthday brings you a blessing, too! Leave me a comment for a gift!

Golden Anniversary!

Congratulations goes out to Charles and Anna Bodie, celebrating their 50th wedding anniverwary. The Bodies are founding donors and friends to the Mission. Their daughter, Grace, has served for the last two years as the President of our Womens Auxilliary and is my very good friend. She forwarded me this picture and said her mom is wearing her original wedding gown! All reports say it was a memorable, God-honouring occasion that will not be forgotten. Congratulations!

All Or Nothing

Does anyone else struggle with "all or nothing" thinking? That is, if I can't do it all, I won't do any of it. Or, if I can't do it perfectly, I won't do it at all.

Someone with this kind of thinking probably doesn't start a mission. I got an amazing call today from a government employee with the justice department who said he came to our Love Your Neighbour Banquet and was pleased with our outcomes. Well, only educators and strategic planners use the word outcomes! Turns out he is the latter and would like to work with me as a volunteer coach. Well that is just an answer to prayer and I am tickled pink.

In my conversation with this consultant, I told him that practically overnight, with the merger of Regina RESCUE Mission and Souls Harbour, our mission burst into bloom! That means we've been very busy! Amazing, thrilling blessings have come to us from God and His people, and in processing all of this, we often joke about being "Kramerica!"

This Seinfeld Reference is from an episode where Kramer starts a business out of his home, and hires an intern to work for him. He ends up doing Kramer's laundry and other personal errands. And Kramer, in his deluded state, is conducting all kinds of strange non-essential business. All in all, it's chaos and confusion.

And so, our Kramerica Interns or new employees, before they know it, are immersed, as trial by fire, and suddenly they need everything perfect. They find themselves running in a million directions, needing to respond to the many requests one gets working on the front lines day and night. It's a natural reaction to stress to want to make everything perfect. That balance between tough love and grace doesn't come naturally for most, but is learned with patience and perseverance.

We see people with depression struggle with this desire to make everything black or white. It's based on a need to simplify stress and narrow it down to right and wrong. No grey. Unfortunately, Scripture doesn't speak to this.

In fact, we are told to live by our own conscience. People with a depressive tendency may choose to polarize their thinking, but it doesn't make for an individual relationship with God. Yes, there are certain things that are absolutely right or absolutely wrong. But, what advice did Jesus give to the woman who had "no husband." Indeed, he said she had "five husbands."

Life is complicated. So, what do you make of this verse?

Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. -Matt 19:21

It means, God wants your heart. It means, give Him what you have. This day. This hour. This minute.

It all boils down to people. Walk a mile in their shoes. Do what is best for them. Love them as you love yourself.

Well, I should go. I blew my diet this afternoon so I'm going to go pig out on ice cream cake.

Canadian Dinner in Atlanta, Georgia

I just received these pictures from Convention 2007. We all got togethr during the free night. What a great new tradition!

Here we are, wishing for vinegar on our fries, or at least a little poutine. Although hard to tell, I am having a very good hair day.

Bruce, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, is thinking, "Oh no! Caught on film. My mission doesn't even know I'm here!"